The monsters are not happy now that Hillary Clinton has joined their ranks.

From Frankenstein to Dracula to Medusa to Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde to the Hunchback of Notre Dame to the Phantom of the Opera to the Wolf Man to Godzilla to the Creature from the Black Lagoon to the string of horrifying icons from more recent movie memory including Freddy, Chucky, and Michael Myers, “monsters” are clearly a part of our collective culture that invades our minds and dreams from time to time with a perversely thrilling and chilling, fear-inducing, breath-reducing reaction.

Few things in life are more exhilerating than that of encountering a “good” monster, whether in books, on the silver screen, in folklore, or even occassionally in person.

Literature is full of monsters that threaten and torment and teach and warn us to the various forms of evil that intertwine our psyche and our very existence. Personally, for me, the flying monkeys from the 1939 classic movie “The Wizard of Oz” are some of the most frightening monsters ever. And I couldn’t turn away.

Generally, a person referred to as a monster is portrayed to be exceptionally evil, inhumane, grotesque, abhorrent, sociopathic, psychotic, sadistic, or otherwise despicable beyond words.

To my knowledge, in reality, Hillary Clinton is none of those things and she is not a human-animal hybrid, nor is she a combination of various animals, nor does she possess unusual features such as gargantuan size nor does she have multiple heads. And not releasing your tax returns is hardly grounds for being rated a monster. Having an ear-piercing laugh is probably not sufficient reason to be voted a monster. Being married to Bill Clinton and being one of the most liberal politicians on the planet is not even enough evidence to convict you of being a real monster.

So when a top Barack Obama aide referred to Clinton as a monster in a recent newspaper interview, she was, technically, incorrect. She was also subsequently and promptly fired by the Obama campaign for uttering such an opinion. (So much for freedom of speech within the Obama ranks…)

Even the most conservative of the conservatives would probably not call Hillary Clinton a monster. A few other pejorative terms come to mind, but the “M-word” is certainly way down the list–well below the “B-word.”

Hillary Clinton, for all of her political warts and faults, would never been featured in an Edgar Rice Burroughs novel. No matter how much some from the GOP side of the aisle would like to think otherwise. And for other Republicans, even though they might be “afraid” of her in a sense, monster is far too tame of a term for her.

But who is left to speak for the monsters? I suspect that they would not be too happy to have Hillary Clinton thrust among their midst. They are, afterall, uniquely interesting, memorable, larger than life, and scary. Hillary, on the other hand, is simply politically scary, and the last person on earth that I want to pay to see up on the silver screen or fall asleep reading about ever.